Saturday, August 14, 2010

Attack Of The Fifty Foot Pilgrim II: Revenge Of The Feline

I received a letter addressed to "Pilgrim Abnett" c/o "the Dan Human", forwarded by Matthew Churchill, long time Friend Of This Blog and certifiable loon. The text read as follows:


"Dear Pilgrim

I am sorry to hear of your recent massive weight gain. My human has put me on a diet and it stinks. You must be very hungry being 50ft tall, so I've spared you some of my food. Apparently, they are called 'Kibbles'.

Enjoy

Mayhem Churchill"




Sometime later, an elite squad of RSPCA ninjas was HALO-dropped into the four mile Exclusion Zone, and they were able to send back the following picture before their transmissions went dark.

















-

13 comments:

Shadowheim said...

That's them in the bowl,isn't it...

Matthew Churchill said...

Yup, and that's a regular-size box of Go-Cat lying by them. Other brands of giant-cat-pacifying kibbles are available.
M

Rob said...

Matt, I think the real problem is going to be the kitty litter situation.

I've also managed to find the solution to feline weight loss. You don't need special food or to feed the cat less, you just need to get a very small, hyper, and above all extremely friendly dog. My sister's rather porky cat recently came to stay with me while she's doing a rotation in Iraq, and in the year that the cat has been here, she's dropped all the weight she needed to lose solely from dashing around and jumping up on furniture in an attempt to avoid my little dog, who grew up with cats and thinks every feline is his bosom friend.

Also like to mention that "Pilgrim" is a pretty great name for a cat. Probably the best-named cat I've ever had was "Nuisance."

Dan and Nik- enjoy your trip Stateside. I'll make it up there to Baltimore one of these days. Make sure to drop in on Mr. Poe while you're there.

Matthew Churchill said...

Mayhem beats Nuisance. Hands down.
M

Nik Vincent said...

Rob - Pilgrim was so-named because we met him at the rescue centre on Thanksgiving. Dudley was so-named because he's small, wears a tux, and looks like he could drink more than his weight in whisky and play the piano pretty competently. Go figure.

Rob said...

Nik-

And here I was thinking it had Old West overtones. Didn't think Thanksgiving made much of an impression outside the US and Canada. Didn't really catch the reference on Dudley though.

Matt & Nik-

"Mayhem" is definitely a great cat name. I'm sure it's fitting.

Nuisance got her soubriquet because during college, she would show up outside my dorm room window at the same time each day and cry until I fed her.

My current dog, who's a feisty, cute little thing, is very fittingly named "Dickens."

Dan Abnett said...

Rob - as in Dudley Moore in Arthur. Actually, he's called Dudley because he was the 'Dud' of the litter. He and PIlgrim are half-brothers: they have the same white bits, but Dudley is black where Pilgrim is tabby, and Pilgrim is significantly bigger and fluffier.

Well, he's significantly bigger NOW anyway.

Pack_master said...

Dan, can you tell us something about "Hammer and Bolter", and 'The Strange Demise of Titus Endor'?

Xhalax said...

Pack Master - If memory serves (and it usually does)....that story was one that was going to be part of a group of Eisenhorn/Ravenor based short stories that were going to be complied into an anthology.

Looks like, at least this story is going to be given to the masses via electronic means.

The implications of such worry me.

Dan Abnett said...

Xhalax - I’m beginning to see where your idea (expressed on Facebook) of a ‘trend’ is coming from.

Basically, blame the epilepsy. I’m still catching up with where I thought I’d be, and that means I haven’t got time to write everything I want to (this is improving). The Sabbat Worlds Anthology was a little piece of loveliness conjured up by Christian to compensate for what would otherwise have been a lack of Gaunt this year. Everyone mucked in, with great results, I did a new story, and we decided we’d drop the convention exclusive in to add a tiny bit more Gauntliness. It was a judgement call. Otherwise, I’m not sure when the Iron Star would have been collected.

Hammer and Bolter (hello, Packmaster) is the new digital download mag. It’s going to fulfill the function of Inferno as a showcase for new fiction (someone at BL jump in and correct this if I’m mistaken) and it’s going to have bags of great stuff (and be a wonderful opportunity for new writers). BL wanted a story from me for the first issue (which I believe is FREE as a taster), and I didn’t have anything like enough time to produce something. Rather than reprint something previously seen, we decided to use one of the Inquisitor stories I’ve already written for the Eisenhorn/Ravenor anthology. That’s still a little way off yet. “The Strange Demise of Titus Endor” will be in it for print completists, but it gets an outing in H&B for funsies, AND as a taster of what the Eisenhorn-Ravenor book will be like.

So this isn’t a trend, and shouldn’t be repeated with the work of other BL writers. It’s just a way of getting a few more new Dan stories out to you while I’m getting back on the figurative horse.

autobus said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
BigWill said...

This is the first time I am hearing of Hammer and Bolter,I am looking forward to this.
I do love a short story.
Just please make sure the Titus story makes it way into "Eisenhorn and Friends"

Xhalax said...

Thanks for the information Mr. Abnett.

I must confess that my worry was very much based on the fact that I'm not ready for digital and there's part of me that things that I probably never will.

When I heard about Hammer and Bolter, I thought it was a great idea. A kind of return of something Inferno-esque though i was a little disheartened about the fact it's going to be digital only....for the above reason.

Then I saw that the Titus Endor story was going to be one of the stories featured in the first issue. And again, straight away, I thought that was a great idea...due to the fact it sounds like an intriguing story and I kinda liked Titus. Plus I thought it would also work with the concept of the collection of Eisenhorn/Ravenor short stoies too. Not to mention that it might take some of the pressure off with a short story every now and again....as you said that you were fitting them between projects.

So I thought it worked....then there was the issue above. It would be awesome that the stories would filter through, but they'd be digital only and I'd miss out because of the fear. And in the end I'd have to cave and technically buy a reader for one short story (Nathun's).

As for the placing of the Iron Star and simply the Sabbat World's Anthology.....I can't say I ever really put it down to your epilepsy until I actuallt thought about.

I think the way that the Sabbat Worlds Anthology has been put together and constructed, I get the feeling it could have been a supliment on the future cards, but may have been sped forward with Christian's idea of making sure the year isn't Gaunt free. Kinda like the Sabbat Worlds Crusade book.....if that makes any sense.

So my thoughts on the 'trend' of specials appearing elsewhere was more based on economy than anything else. Is it better to get the special/collectors edition and laugh in a rabid fan fashion..or bide you time and get a the content and extra goodies for a little bit emore cash? e one this year too...the fan will get the better of me and I'll go us.

Games Day is a terrible influence on me.