Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Incoming

Just a quick reminder that I'll be at Forbidden Planet this coming Saturday at 1.00 o'clock for an hour, and then at Games Workshop Oxford Street at 3.00. Hope to see some of you there.

Oh, and today's exclusive short story. It's called:



Quatermouse and the Flit

"Don't we owe them rent, professor?"

"Shut up," said Quatermouse, "and keep running."


The End

44 comments:

BigWill said...

After the Horus Heresy books you should pitch the Battle of Ullanor.
I would love to read your take on the Emperor of Man while he was still kicking ass and taking names.

Xhalax said...

I take in your getting into shape for this blog-a-thon then Mr. Abnett which such a random post as that.

I like it!

:D

Jesse said...

And the randomness of Dan's post is matched only by the randomness of bigwill's first comment.

Kudos to both of you! I'm at a loss for what to write!

That in mind:

Purplemonkeydishwasher!

Half_Ambidextrous said...

Coming soon: Quatermouse and the Nit.

'Why have you cursed me with an itchy scalp?' asked Quatermouse, scratching his head.

'Simple,' said the Nit, 'It's lice work if you can get it.'

The End.


...Now, where's my coat?

marco said...

Presonally I can't wait for Quatermouse and the Pritt.

Toymachine said...

Simpsons fan, Jesse?

:p

Aren't we all.

Xhalax said...

I'm not.

Ok, maybe once....but no more

Jesse said...

There's a rumor that I am/was a Simpson's fan, but I'll deny it in front of any Congressional hearings.

BigWill said...

The Simpsons are great but The Family Guy takes it to the next level.

Xhalax said...

Indude.

Family Guy is great. And Futurama was much better than The Simpsons too

Half_Ambidextrous said...

American Dad currently rules the roost, in my humble opinion.
Roger the Alien. Heh. Funny every time... *Giggles immaturely*

In the meantime - Quatermouse and the Brit.

"What would you like to drink?"

"Good lord, Quatermouse," said the gentleman in the bowler hat. "Tea of course!"

Xhalax said...

American Dad is good (after all it has Patrick Stewart in it) but it's not as good a Family Guy at the moment.

Give it another few seasons and it'll be right up there with Family Guy.

And tea? TEA?
Yuck!

Robert said...

Hey, tea is serious business in England.

During my period of study, mid-18th century England, there was a war going on in Sussex between British Army troops and tea smugglers that claimed dozens of lives. It involved hundred-man skirmishes, the houses of informers being burned, and customs agents being kidnapped and tortured to death.

Just shows what happens when people don't get their caffeine.

Saberrox said...

Love these exclusives. Maybe Quatermouse will appear as a character in a future Abnett story? Brothers of the Rat? Horrible joke.

In regard to Simpsons-Family Guy-Futurama, I love all three, but the Simpsons is pretty much done nowadays. Family Guy is the next Simpsons. Futurama is better than both, IMO. That's where next paycheck goes to get it on DVD (the next one probably pays for Brothers of the Snake and/or the Cain book. I think both are June).

Far Side fans here? The first Quatermouse thing reminded me of the lawyers shouting "Sue him! Sue him!"

Jesse said...

So, I make one vague Simpson's reference and it fires a whole thread. Hmmm. . .

I wonder, where will they'll take this one:

"I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?"

Robert said...

"I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?"

"Sir. My medical history is confidential under doctor-patient privilege and cannot be accessed by anyone."

Dan Abnett said...

Jesse - your name is Inigo Montoya. Prepare to die.

Xhalax said...

Robert...I live in teh country. Have done all my life and I HATE tea.

Dan Abnett said...

Of course there's Quatermouse and the Wit

"Who's your pithy friend professor?"

"Oh, this is Mr Wilde," said Quatermouse.



And Quatermouse and the Nit

"I want one of those special combs," said Quatermouse to the chemist.


And Quatermouse and the Hit

"Job done," said Quatermouse, as he unscrewed the silencer and dropped the nine in a dumpster.


But as far as Quatermouse and the Pritt is concerned, I'm a bit stuck.

Ba dum tish!

Jesse said...

Quatermouse, Dan?

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Toymachine said...

I certainly hope its not what I think it is!!!

(Imagines a decapitated mouse)

Dan Abnett said...

Jesse...

You know the rules. Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

Dan Abnett said...

.. unless you know your Agrippa, Like I do.

Saberrox said...

Of course, it's worse to go up against a sicilian when death is on the line.

Jesse said...

Dan,

I am here! My men are here! But soon, YOU will not be here!

The Dread Pirate Roberts takes NO SURVIVORS! All your worst nightmares are about to come true!

The Dread Pirate Roberts is here for your SOULS!

(Who would a' thunk that the Dread Pirate Roberts worked for the Ruinous Powers?)




Saberrox,

That would be absolutely, totally and in all other ways inconceivable. . .

Unless less you happen to be a local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise. . . at night. . . through eel-infested waters. . .

Dan Abnett said...

Or unemployed. In Greenland.

Martin said...

You're all nuts, you know? All of you.

My chest's hurting from all the laughing I had to do when reading this.

Jesse said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jesse said...

Do you hear that, Dan? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when the six-fingered man killed my father. The man known as Martin makes it now!

Martin said...

Ow! That wasn't nice, you know? Dan, please, make him stop sayin' so...


:)

Dan Abnett said...

Yes, Jesse.

Remember, there is always wuv, sweet wuv.

Saberrox said...

Isn't "wuv, troo wuv..."?

By the way Dan, excellent work with Ravenor Rogue.

RAVENOR ROGUE SPOILER

Hope to see more from that story arc in the future. Did anyone else feel sorry for Molotch? He was a fun villain. Naturally, that whole Carl thing was sad, of course. And poor Harlon.

And jeez, did the story have to end for Lucius Worna? I was really hoping he'd skip town at the end when things got bad for the main villains. Oh well, he was an extremely fun character.

And...Interrogator Kys? Possibly? Maybe?

Jesse said...

All this talk of wuv.

Hold it! Hold it!

Dan. . .

Is this a kissing blog?

Toymachine said...

A kissing blog?

...And i thought i was Crazy.

Dan Abnett said...

Of course not, Jesse. It's a blog full of R.O.U.S.'s.


Saberrox - mate, you are absolutely right. It's 'troo'. So I guess I lose the 'who misquotes the Princess bride accidentally first' contest.

Maybe we should start another round with a different film. Or MAYBE I have too much time on my hands.

Dan Abnett said...

Of course, The Princess Bride is one of my top ten favourite movies. Also in my top ten is another film featuring the six fingered man. So, taking the first serve as it were...

"You're a naughty one, Saucy Jack! You're a haughty one, Saucy Jack!"

Graham said...

Ha! One of my favourite films of all time there, Dan...

I'll return your serve with, "You can't really dust for vomit...'

Graham

Robert said...

Damn, right when I was going to pipe in with "Toga! Toga!"

Dan just turned it up to eleven.

Nik said...

... because this is one louder

Jesse said...

Rodents of unusual size? I don't believe they exist.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!





Wasn't Saucy Jack related to Saint Hubbins, the patron saint of quality footwear?

Dan Abnett said...

Yes, he was. But what's in here? No one. And in here there's a little guy...

Robert said...

...but it's just a joke, really. I'm a professional, I'll rise above it.

Jesse said...

Professional, he says. . .

He's got an Armadillo in his trousers! It's really quite frightening!

Robert said...

Quartermouse and the Mitt

"Are you sure you can handle a fastball, professor?"

"Indubitably," said Quartermouse. "Just lay off those demon-sphere gyroballs the Japanese guy throws."