tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post9156690457342530454..comments2024-01-28T08:47:10.769+00:00Comments on Dan Abnett: Signing II: This Time It's BromleyDan Abnetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08918522058848946086noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-35697977601656497192007-05-26T21:42:00.000+01:002007-05-26T21:42:00.000+01:00well i dont know about ur short stories but heres ...well i dont know about ur short stories but heres mine (sorry about the spelling mistakes)<BR/><BR/>Bill and Bob<BR/><BR/>"bill?"<BR/><BR/>"yes bob?"<BR/><BR/>"ive got a crush on that person on that TV commercial, but i dont know who they are."<BR/><BR/>bill looked up from his paper in a concerned look<BR/><BR/>"bob, do u mean that person from that music player commercial?"<BR/><BR/>"Yeh"<BR/><BR/>Bill looked back down at his paper and sighed<BR/><BR/>"Now you just know there's something wrong with you when you get a crush on a shadow in an i-pod commercial"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-3751433063584270592007-05-26T21:30:00.000+01:002007-05-26T21:30:00.000+01:00hi im new to all this so im goin to ask some Q'sfi...hi im new to all this so im goin to ask some Q's<BR/><BR/>first who is Prof Quatermouse?<BR/><BR/>Seacond why is this so random<BR/><BR/>and third....erm no actually ill leave it at that<BR/><BR/>thanksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-49753225039725761902007-05-26T20:53:00.000+01:002007-05-26T20:53:00.000+01:00Quartermouse and the Banana Split:"What's that you...Quartermouse and the Banana Split:<BR/><BR/>"What's that you've got?" asked Hardy.<BR/><BR/>"Why, 'tis a dairy dessert I found at the grocery store!" exclaimed Quartermouse. "A curious fusion of ice cream and fruit."<BR/><BR/>There was an awkward silence. <BR/><BR/>"Toss me your pocket knife, please, Hardy." said Quartermouse.<BR/><BR/>"Why?"<BR/><BR/>"It's a split, you dolt, I must cut it in half, obviously!" snapped Quartermouse.<BR/><BR/>Badum tish!<BR/><BR/>(I know, it's bad. I'm hungry and I can't think well right now)Bodjohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10980237293921320056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-24607693130535155492007-05-26T13:57:00.000+01:002007-05-26T13:57:00.000+01:00BWAHAHAHAHAA!!!!BWAHAHAHAHAA!!!!Taylor https://www.blogger.com/profile/14688370272400464718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-27580366663118849592007-05-25T07:51:00.000+01:002007-05-25T07:51:00.000+01:00Hrhrhr! :DHrhrhr! :DAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-51807335202793038612007-05-25T06:58:00.000+01:002007-05-25T06:58:00.000+01:00Quartermouse and the Split"Professor, do you think...Quartermouse and the Split<BR/><BR/>"Professor, do you think we should keep going with a new title word, or just drop it while it's still funny? We're running out of rhymes."<BR/><BR/>"Well I'll tell you one thing Hardy," said Quartermouse, "I think Dan's finally found a room full of writing monkeys."Rob Rathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18190321709283384722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-54174855427056653752007-05-25T01:33:00.000+01:002007-05-25T01:33:00.000+01:00Tremendous kudos to all. I laughed a great, great ...Tremendous kudos to all. I laughed a great, great deal.<BR/><BR/>And now:<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>Quatermouse and the Zit<BR/><BR/>"Just squeeze it, you moron," exclaimed Professor Bernard Quatermouse, "or at least apply some Clearasil."<BR/><BR/>"Prof?" said Hardy. "Prof, could you bugger off out of the bathrom, please?"<BR/><BR/><BR/>And:<BR/><BR/>Quatermouse and the Git<BR/><BR/>"Him?" said Professor Q, "why he's just a ninker. Ignore everything he says."<BR/><BR/><BR/>And:<BR/><BR/>Quatermouse and the Squit<BR/><BR/>(yeah, sorry all)<BR/><BR/>"Are you all right in there, Bernard?" Perkins called.<BR/><BR/>"Ughhn!" exclaimed the Professor. " Jeremy, could you put some loo rolls in the fridge? It looks like Bombay Doors again."Dan Abnetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08918522058848946086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-70464057725632386722007-05-24T22:19:00.000+01:002007-05-24T22:19:00.000+01:00Okay, one more.Quartermouse and the Pitt"Seriously...Okay, one more.<BR/><BR/>Quartermouse and the Pitt<BR/><BR/>"Seriously, Angelina over Jen?" slurred the professor.<BR/><BR/>As their lord and master was dragged from the posh reception Perkins turned to Hardy.<BR/>"I told you three Appletinis would be plenty. That's a tenner you owe me."Soapyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07747048216089161986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-34499898138072793802007-05-24T22:12:00.000+01:002007-05-24T22:12:00.000+01:00Oh Dan– before you follow up Fell Cargo read Capta...Oh Dan– before you follow up Fell Cargo read Captain Alatriste if you haven't. It's by Arturo Pérez-Reverte and I swear the guy is channeling Sabatini.Rob Rathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18190321709283384722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-76270077471683447372007-05-24T22:10:00.000+01:002007-05-24T22:10:00.000+01:00Man, I did Quartermouse stories all the way to Tex...Man, I did Quartermouse stories all the way to Texas (12 hours) but most of them were taken. <BR/><BR/>But I'm so glad this caught on. <BR/><BR/>My entries, which I couldn't stop writing because I wronged a Gypsy and may never sleep on planes again:<BR/><BR/>****<BR/><BR/>Quartermouse and the Bit II<BR/><BR/>"These are country people, Hardy, they won't respect me if I don't have a horse."<BR/><BR/>"Ok, I can see the saddle and reigns, but this thing in my mouth hurts."<BR/><BR/>Quartermouse gave his spurs an experimental jangle. "That's because you're not champing enough."<BR/><BR/><BR/>Quartermouse and the Pit<BR/><BR/>"The man at the register SAID these cherries were seedless, professor."<BR/><BR/>"Well I just broke a tooth."<BR/><BR/>(Congrats Marco, I spent half the Pacific Ocean trying to figure out how to do the Marital Bliss-Pearl one.)<BR/><BR/>Having lots of fun with Mainland Culture Shock. (Was that THUNDER?! It's 2 PM, that's not allowed! And why are there so many white people everywhere? Let's eat where? What's an Applebee's? Does all their food have apples?)Rob Rathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18190321709283384722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-13808645447289949442007-05-24T21:57:00.000+01:002007-05-24T21:57:00.000+01:00Uuuhh, take it away... make these pictures go away...Uuuhh, take it away... make these pictures go away...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-70457339482695929672007-05-24T21:45:00.000+01:002007-05-24T21:45:00.000+01:00The Quatermouse and the slit"Ah, what a lovely day...The Quatermouse and the slit<BR/><BR/>"Ah, what a lovely day for a swim! I say, why does everyone run away?"<BR/><BR/>"Um, professor? The thong goes on the back."Toymachinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11052431525998539186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-26884074747445646632007-05-24T13:32:00.000+01:002007-05-24T13:32:00.000+01:00see I was going to do:Quatermouse and the Chit (II...see I was going to do:<BR/><BR/>Quatermouse and the Chit (II)<BR/><BR/>"Professor Quatermouse, Professor Quatermouse, the cat's done a docket in the hallway!"<BR/><BR/>...but I guess I was beaten to itAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-40182854577733864372007-05-24T01:52:00.000+01:002007-05-24T01:52:00.000+01:00LOLLOLDan Abnetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08918522058848946086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-59275086331048504982007-05-24T01:08:00.000+01:002007-05-24T01:08:00.000+01:00Quartermouse and the bit."Shouldn't it go between ...Quartermouse and the bit.<BR/><BR/>"Shouldn't it go between his teeth professor"<BR/><BR/>"Thank you Hardy, probably information best imparted before your mentor is hoofed across the stable yard."<BR/><BR/>"I think your tweedy jacket has gone the way of the hall carpet professor."<BR/><BR/>"And thank you too Perkins. Now is anyone going to help me up?"Soapyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07747048216089161986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-85207856709707345312007-05-24T00:55:00.000+01:002007-05-24T00:55:00.000+01:00"Hardy, Perkins check your boots."..."Well someone..."Hardy, Perkins check your boots."<BR/>...<BR/>"Well someone has, it's all up the hall carpet."<BR/>...<BR/>"No of course it's not me I...oh hang on, yes it is. Can one of you chaps fetch a stiff brush."<BR/><BR/>Quartemouse and the ...stiff talking to from the housekeeper.Soapyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07747048216089161986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-13510918603699085662007-05-23T23:27:00.000+01:002007-05-23T23:27:00.000+01:00Quatermouse and the Chit"No really, Miss Corinthia...Quatermouse and the Chit<BR/><BR/>"No really, Miss Corinthia, I must insist you call it a docket."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-21524701182991697722007-05-23T23:14:00.001+01:002007-05-23T23:14:00.001+01:00Thanks for that lovely trio of images: grit in eye...Thanks for that lovely trio of images: grit in eye, grit in other bodily orifice and unspecified night time hankie fetish mongery. <BR/><BR/>I may never sleep again....<BR/><BR/>Damn that random enter buttonThe BBChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18287787141752004817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-43133455816198360052007-05-23T23:14:00.000+01:002007-05-23T23:14:00.000+01:00of course, that should have been quatermouse and t...of course, that should have been quatermouse and the grit (II)<BR/><BR/>I never said it'd be originalAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-88986051392522391862007-05-23T23:12:00.000+01:002007-05-23T23:12:00.000+01:00Thanks forThanks forThe BBChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18287787141752004817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-82562975448752113172007-05-23T23:11:00.000+01:002007-05-23T23:11:00.000+01:00Quatermouse and the grit"Bend down, Hardy. No, get...Quatermouse and the grit<BR/><BR/>"Bend down, Hardy. No, get in the light... yes the corner of my hankie is clean"<BR/><BR/>"but it huuurrts.<BR/><BR/>"Oh...do it yourself."<BR/><BR/>No prizes for guessing who the funny one of the family is?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-49041791415063522702007-05-23T22:16:00.000+01:002007-05-23T22:16:00.000+01:00Martin - drugs play no part. I have to say these a...Martin - drugs play no part. I have to say these are off the cuff, but then I do get paid to make shit up for a living ("you'd think he'd be better at it!" they all immediately post).<BR/><BR/>And so:<BR/><BR/>Quatermouse and the frite<BR/><BR/>"And what is this supposed to be?" asked Quatermouse, holding out the small wicker basket.<BR/><BR/>"That, sir," said the snooty waiter, "is a French fry."<BR/><BR/>"Well," said Quatermouse, "shouldn't there be more than one?"<BR/><BR/>Ba dum, and as they say, tish!Dan Abnetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08918522058848946086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-20249473918061958912007-05-23T20:51:00.000+01:002007-05-23T20:51:00.000+01:00Randomness is the key to much humour.Quatermouse a...Randomness is the key to much humour.<BR/><BR/>Quatermouse and the Kit<BR/><BR/>"To find one's nature reflecting on what clothes you have on is a tad goofy in my opinion!" Quatermouse sighed, "Its truly vulgar sometimes."<BR/><BR/>"Professor", Hardy exclaimed. "You are wearing a tweed jacket with nylon trousers!"<BR/><BR/>Quatermouse glanced into the mirror...<BR/><BR/>"I think I look quite dashing actually!" He grinned like a wolf.<BR/><BR/>"I don't!"<BR/><BR/>Years later, Hardy's remains were found under a desolate country bridge...Taylor https://www.blogger.com/profile/14688370272400464718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-80602069120974330032007-05-23T20:24:00.000+01:002007-05-23T20:24:00.000+01:00Oh, and before I forget...How much time you needed...Oh, and before I forget...<BR/><BR/>How much time you needed getting stoned like that, Dan? Posting these things, and in such fast order... or are these all the gathered, un-used awkward things of all your years of writing?<BR/><BR/>Love it, keep going :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16623482.post-52262497008602150172007-05-23T20:20:00.000+01:002007-05-23T20:20:00.000+01:00Great gods of nowhere, I loved the Switt :D M*A*S*...Great gods of nowhere, I loved the Switt :D <BR/>M*A*S*H... oh for crying out loud, this one got me really wasted :))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com